*So I posted this blog on my Myspace blog a few weeks back, and I decided to go ahead and post it here too. I added some paragraphs onto the end too, based on a discussion I had with my mom tonight. It's long...but interesting to me. Read if you wish. If not, than too bad you're missing some really good stuff...*
Normally I hate my Contemporary Theory class. It's boring and long and all we learn about is these dead white guys that wrote confusing theoretical books 200 years ago. That being said, today's lecture was actually interesting. We discussed what the ideal American female and male look like. My class is pretty diverse: a good male to female ratie, some older, some younger, many different ethnicities. So my professor asked if we walked into a bar and saw the "ideal" man and woman, what would they look like? Now this is based on looks alone...they could be extremely smart or a complete idiot...we have no way of knowing.
So here's the ground rules: you're at a bar and it's happy hour. A woman and a man walk in they are presumably coming strait from work (our class decided they work at a law firm...I don't really know why we decided that though) and they are presumably single. GO.
Here's what we came up with:
Woman- sober (haha-this was the first thing that was said!), 25-35 years old, 5'7", 130lbs (about a size 6-8), light brown hair possibly with subtle blonde highlights, light brown/tan skin (natural, not fake and bake), some natural looking makeup, brown eyes, dressed business casual-not conservative but not slutty either. The biggest thing was a woman that exerted confidence in her walk and talk.
OK-so before I go onto the ideal man...here's my thoughts on this. I was actually surprised a little bit. First, a size 6 is a very thin by my standards, but I though most guys would want a 5'9" size 2 who weighs 110 lbs. So that's good. All the guys also agreed that the platinum blonde, heavily makeup look was only hot on porn stars- not women they would actually date. It's also nice to know that some guys like a girl who leaves a little to the imagination. :) However, it also means that a girl who is short and curvy like me is no where near the "ideal" type of woman...other than my hair color. Slightly depressing even despite the fact that I am actually very comfortable with how I look.
Now the Ideal Man: Also sober (haha), also 25-35 years old, 6'0"-6'3", 180-200 lbs, athletic, dressed in a suit (but he possibly took his tie off after leaving the office), green/blue eyes, well groomed and shaved, short dark hair and good posture.
Hmm...yea that sounds good to me. But once again it is depressing to think that there are alot of really attractive guys out there who are shorter or fatter (or taller or thinner) or have longer hair (or no hair!) who don't fit into this ideal.
I actually seriously objected to this discussion in the first place. I like to believe that, although this is the "ideal", that what one person finds attractive is completely based on individual opinions and biases. That although one guy might like someone who is tall and thin, another guy might like someone who is short and curvy (and yes-curvy is a euphamism and I'm stickin to it). I also objected to it because I believe that an opinion of someone's outward appearance can change once you know someone's personality. Someone who is absolutely gorgeous on the outside can be a complete jerk on the inside and therefore become less attractive (or vice versa).
Another interesting observation is that this is only the ideal in America. If you asked someone in China, Saudi Arabia, or even in Canada or England (which are the two countries closest to America in terms of image and pop culture) they would say very different things. This present "ideal" in America has only come to be in the past two decades or so...the Miss Americas after WW2 were size 12s (think Marilyn Monroe here...) and now they are size 2s. What has made this shift occur? Is it the media? But even then- how and when did the media decide that taller and thinner was better? You may not think so, but I think it would be so interesting to research this more and write a paper about it...maybe a master's thesis idea?
Anyways, that is my observation/rant. What do you out in blogger land think? Agree? Disagree? Totally different opinion of your ideal man/woman? Just thought I'd write my thoughts from the one lecture this year that actually captured my attention...
I knew I was a Sociology major for a reason...
Now, being single I get asked fairly often what I'm looking for in a guy (usually by my mom, but sometimes by well-meaning friends who are trying to set me up). I never know what to say because I feel like where I'm at and what I'm looking for now is so different than what I was looking for in the past. So now what do I want?
Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind is that I want a guy who will NOT make me his whole world. Weird? I don't think so. I have my own life and my own friends. I am too busy to make somebody my whole world and it isn't fair to someone who is looking to make me his. I want a guy who has his own friends and his own life to live. For so long I made the guy I was with my everything. I based my entire life on his wants and needs and it took me a long time to realize that that wasn't what I wanted. I want a guy who is secure enough in our relationship (if it turns into that) and in himself to NOT have to be with me every single day, or talk to me 5 times a day. Is it not possible to have a good, exclusive relationship and only see eachother on weekends or whenever time allows? I'd like to think so, but I guess I don't have the experience to truly know.
Don't get me wrong, when I like someone I do want to spend time with them and talk to them, but I am the type of person who is not dependent on someone else to be happy. I like my alone time and my girls nights. I love my life the way it is and I want to find someone who wants to share in the life I have (and hopefully let me share in his) without making eachother the ONLY lives we have.
I think people these days think I am anti-marriage because I make jokes about how I'm never going to get married. I'm not worried about no one ever loving me enough or anything like that, but I don't know if it's possible to have this sort of relationship before settling down. I mean, really, what ever happened to DATING??? When did it become one date then BAM! relationship? Can't you just hang out and get to know someone for a little while before picking out the colors for your wedding? OK-maybe that's a little exagerated, but you get my point. It's frustrating to be single when the world is like this. I mean, I love and have nothing against my friends who are married or who may soon be married, but it's not my choice right now. This may change. I may meet someone tomorrow is my soulmate and I want to get married in 6 months. But as of now, I have plans for my life that I want to live out before I settle down. If I can find someone who can accept that (and someone who hopefully has plans of his own, or plans that we can live out together), then great! If not, then I'll start looking when life settles down a little bit. I don't like people freaking me out telling me if I don't find the person I'm going to marry in college than I'm screwed. Just give me some time!!!
And, contrary to popular belief, I'm am not some party crazy party girl. Do I go out? Yes. Do I LIKE going out? Yes. Do I do it every Friday and Saturday night? No way. It gets boring after awhile. So I guess I want a guy who likes going out and having a good time, but who also knows other ways to have fun. I like trying new things and I want someone who is adventurous enough to do them with me. I like going places I've never gone to, and doing things I've never done. I HATE going to dinner and a movie ALL THE TIME. I do like it sometimes and I actually think it's a pretty good first date idea, but seriously...use your imagination every once in awhile. Phoenix is not that boring.
And on that note, a guy who wouldn't mind spending a little bit of time and money to travel would be good too. Otherwise...I'll go by myself. No-I'm not scared to do that. I would meet alot of great people and see some amazing sights. Having someone to share it with would be nice, but not mandatory. I'm going no matter what.
So if you are, or if you know someone like this, then send him my way. If not, I'll find him eventually. I'm not in a hurry.
Now that this is a novel, I'm off. Sorry if you're bored to tears...but I guess if you were truly bored than you would've stopped reading long before you got to the end huh? Back to reality and homework for me. :-)
<3
All of my friends (Kristen and Valerie last weekend at Margaritaville)
My mom (It's her birthday today! Happy Birthday!)
My neice (because she's hilarious. Isn't her dimple adorable?!)
My nephews (This is Jacob...Josh was somewhere else. Doesn't he look happy???)
