A new year

So I know it has been forever and a day since I posted anything substantial, but I really had nothing substantial to write about. My life this summer consisted of working, packing, unpacking, eating too much, working out too little, and trying to psych myself up for starting the school year single.

Truthfully, I enjoy being single. I like just being able to do whatever I want without having to check someone else's schedule. This summer I got to hang out with some friends that I neglected while I was in a relationship. I had alot of time to myself for reading and listening to music and everything else you can imagine. And it was so nice.

But now here I am, on the first day of school, waiting for my next class to start. I feel like I'm going to break down crying right here in the library because I don't have anyone to call in between classes, or talk about my day with. Sure, I can go over the major points with my mom, or with any of my friends who aren't busy enough with their own classes. But I have no one to tell about the little meaningless parts of my day with. It's a strange thing that something so little like that can send me over the edge.

And then there's the doubts. Doubts about me and the feeling that I don't know if anyone will ever feel about me like Davis did. I am an admitidly shy person, and I don't put myself out there, especially when it comes to guys. I get nervous and I don't say the right thing and usually make a fool out of myself.

And it's hard when I get asked weekly (if not more) if I have a boyfriend yet. It makes me even more self-conscious and it honestly makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I have been single for all of 4 months. it makes it hard to be okay with being single when there is this constant pressure to find someone.

Anyways, those are my thoughts. I am freaking out honestly. What I need right now is a huge bowl of ice cream with chocolate and m&ms....but apparently I eat when I'm stressed/happy/sad/etc and I need to stop that. So I guess I'll try writing instead. Sorry if it's boring, but I guess you shouldn't read it if it is huh?