Adventures of a Single 21-year old: Nice Guys DON'T Always Finish Last

I love nice guys. Guys who are genuinely sweet and respectful are SO attractive to me. I know alot of girls go for the bad boys because they are "mysterious" and "complex" (and I admit I have been one of those girls), but I am really drawn to guys who know how to treat a girl right. Unfortunately, these guys are few and far between. Girls who are smarter than I have already realized this and have snatched them up. Sad for us single gals, but true nonetheless.

I have been on a few dates with a guy recently who is one of these "nice guys". Picks me up for dates, pays, opens doors, polite, complimentary...etc,etc. Even if nothing more than just a few dates happens with this person, he has made me realize how badly I've been treated by other guys I have dated. On our first date, I was so...uneasy, because I didn't know how to act with a guy like that. I don't remember the last time I dated someone who offered to pick me up. Who opens car doors and offers me his jacket when I'm cold. I really didn't think guys like that existed. It is great to know I was wrong, but it makes me a little sad to realize how low my standards have been these past few years.

I will keep blogland updated on anything new...

An Update

My Grandpa Stratton had a massive stroke last night. He is completely unresponsive and has no brain activity. We moved him into a Hospice facility because that was his wish. Right now it's just a waiting game. As sad as I am and as hard as this is, I am thankful for three things: 1) My Grandpa's one wish this Christmas was that he could spend it with my Grandma (who passed away in March). It's look like now his wish will come true. 2) Because the stroke was so severe, the doctors tell us he isn't in any pain. 3) I am lucky to have an amazingly close, huge and supportive family. It's times like these when we all need someone to lean on, and in our family there is never a shortage of shoulders for that.

Now it's time for me to vent. Is it really wrong for me to want to spend as much time with my family as possible right now? To be with my grandpa for as long as I can? So when I cancel plans with someone for that reason is it too much to ask that they be understanding and maybe even a little sympathetic? Instead of basically calling me a jerk and telling me that we shouldn't hang out anymore? (This is a "friend" by the way, not someone I am dating). So I'm a little pissed. No, I am ALOT pissed. I guess I don't need friends like that anyways right?

Anyways, please keep my Grandpa in your thoughts and prayers. I will keep everyone updated.

This Post is Dedicated to My Best Friend

Mostly because she is awesome. And she deserves recognition.

So Danielle and I met in 2nd grade and we HATED eachother for some reason that I no longer remember. We went to the same elementary school and I joined the Girl Scout troop that her mom led. Like I said...we hated eachother. But eventually we realized how completely amazing the other was and by 3rd grade we were best friends. And it's been that way ever since. Danielle and I both have this picture of us around 3rd grade at Girl Scout....we are all attitude and young and it is perfect. I don't have it scanned in my computer....but D has it framed/hung up in her place.

Granted we have had our hard times (6th grade anyone??? haha). We've grown apart, but we have always come back together. That's what great about having a BEST friend...even when you don't get to talk or see eachother all the time you know they will always be there when you need them. It's not superficial. No time, no distance really matters. Even at 10pm on a Sunday night when one of us is having a mental breakdown...the other will always be there.

Right now we are at very different points in our lives. Danielle is engaged to this amazing guy that she has been with for 5 years and I have the extreme privelege of being her Maid of Honor in their wedding next June. She is beautiful and smart and when she graduates next May she will become an amazing teacher.

I am...well I am me. Screwed up, overly emotional, erratic me.

In the end it doesn't matter because D is just about the only person that I can truly be myself around. She accepts me and that's what matters.

So...thanks D. For being my friend and my sister. For allowing me to be myself when no one else will. For being my BEST friend. Love you always.

"At least I can walk away knowing I did nothing wrong, that I gave it my all and YOU failed ME...I didn't fail myself."

I guess that's all I can ask for...

I am going to start a book of quotes.

I was watching A Walk to Remember today, and in the movie, Jamie, the lead female, gives Landon, the lead male, a book of her mothers' favorite quotes.

Wouldn't that be a great gift to pass on through the genenerations? People could pass it on throughout time and add to it as they wish?

Hmm...

In honor of this...here is my quote for today...

"My life was an unending midnight...it must, by neccessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?"

Twilight

I guess I have to blog about Twilight considering my obsession with it. I went to the midnight showing on Thursday (which meant I went into work on Friday with only 3 hours of sleep...it's a good thing I only work half days on Fridays). Danielle and her sister were my Twilight companions....

I was EXTREMELY dissapointed in the movie. I know that it is impossible to recreate a 500 page book into a 2 hour movie, but honestly...SO many things were different. Pivotal, chapter long scenes in the book (like the meadow scene, baseball scene, and others) were reduced to two-minute scenes in the movie. The movie went into NO background of the Cullen family...how is that going to affect the other movies????? Plus the acting was horrible...I was laughing at scenes that were supposed to be serious because they were so cheesy.

Oh well...I'm a bookworm. Of course I like the book better. I actually might see the movie again...I might be less critical now that I know what to expect. I'm on my 5th time reading the series the whole way through....maybe after I'm done I'll move onto something else...maybe... :)

Although I had a BLAST at the showing. I picked up Danielle's sister, Ashley, at about 8:00pm and Danielle drove up from Tucson by 11 or so. Ashley and I sat and talked for hours...she really is a great girl (right, D?). She reminds me of myself when I was 17. That's what I've always said...that Ashley and I are one in the same. She's amazingly mature for 17 year old. By the time Danielle got there I was so tired (I'm usually in bed by 10pm) that I was a little weird. A few of my other friends were there as well, but we didn't wait in line with them.

Overall, it's a great memory... :)

Adventures of a Single 21 Year Old Part 4...?: Being Number 1

In my entire 'dating' life I've never been anyone's number 1. Even when I was with someone for four f-ing years i was NEVER the most important thing to him. Not once. I've never been anyone's Number 1. I've never been a priority...never an "I'd rather be with her than anyone else". I know it exists...I've seen it happen.

I'm not high maintenance. I don't ask for much. I like having my own time and hanging with my own friends...but I want someone who is willing to make sacrifices and compromises to be with me too. I mean is that too much to ask? I think most of the time I am too nice...I get walked over. I will do anything for the people I care about...friends, family, anyone. I put myself last.

Is it to much to ask for someone to put me first? Just once?

Random

Does it bug everyone that I am completely obsessed with Twilight ???? TOO BAD! It's amazing! Danielle, her sister (Ashley) and I are going to the midnight showing on Thursday. Can't wait. The last time I went to a midnight showing of a movie is when my dad and I went to see the Star Wars (almost as awesome...but not quite).

I bought a Twilight shirt from Hot Topic last weekend. I got a compliment on it today from a teenage girl. Sweet.

I wish Whitney Houston would make another CD. The Bodyguard is on TV right now. She has an amazing voice.

I'm getting a new phone this week...thinking about switching to Verizon. Anyone have that hates or loves it? I really don't talk on the phone that much...but I text ALL the time. Need a network that has a good texting plan...

I love clean sheets. If I weren't so lazy I would wash my sheets every week. Or every day. Not only do they smell good...but they are cat-hair-free after washing. Love it.

I keep wondering where the heck Andrew works? Wasn't he supposed to blog about it??? (He's still my favorite cousin by the way...no one has dethrowned him yet)

I love the holidays. I have the most amazing, craziest family in the world and I love seeing them. I'll be eating dinner at my Aunt Linda's house with my dad's family (it's the first Thanksgiving since my grandma passed away...it'll be sad without her there) then onto dessert at our house with my mom's family. Can't wait. PLUS my dad will be in town the entire week of Thanksgiving, which is great since I haven't seen him much lately.

Last Saturday was the 5 year anniversary since Nick died. I didn't blog about it because well...I didn't want to. Every year I try to ignore the day and every year it hits me like a ton of bricks. It's weird how one event can shape the rest of your life. Hm.

The Notebook is on TV now (apparently it's chick flick day on ABC Family)...although it is not the greatest movie of all time, Nicholas Sparks is one of my favorite authors of all time. He usually comes out with a new book this time of year...so I look forward to it as a Christmas present!

My cat is old. We have a column/pillar type thing in our house and she walks around it in circles all day....and meows alot. I should take her to the vet, but vets are expensive unfortunately. I can't afford tests and medications and all that.

I think Barack Obama will make a great President. Or at least I hope he will. Change is a-comin' that's for sure.

I might apply for a job with the the Red Cross. maybe. I feel like Phoenix is draining the life out of me. I hope I am brave enough to take a chance and move somewhere different. maybe.

I want to lay down in the middle of a street and watch the stoplights change.

I don't have any cool "Adventures of a Single 21-Year Old" stories lately. This has to do with the fact that I am too caught up to meet anyone new. Maybe someday that'll change.

I might take Friday off work, due to the fact that the Twilight premiere is Thursday night and I might got to the Dunes for the weekend. We'll see. I have a ton of PTO built up and don't have any plans to use it, so I might as well take a few hours off. I need it.

Bye bye. :)

"Yes we can"

I've been posting alot lately...maybe I'll get in the habit of writing daily like Amy. Okay...probably not. Who knows though...it could happen. Today I will amuse you with another installment of......

"Adventures of a a Single 21-Year Old Part III: "What to do when you can't 'see' anyone else"

Here's the issue...what do you do when you are technically 'single' but still only want to be with one person? I meet alot of guys....not neccesarily high quality guys, because of where I hang out, but attractive people of the male species nonetheless. But I don't care, because in my heart, I'm not single. In my heart, there's only one person I want to be with. What do I do when I can't "see" anyone else?

It's hard to be "technically" single when I'm not "emotionally" single. In general, I have a hard time opening up to people. My boss said to me today, "Jeez, Lisa, you're such a private person". True. It's harder lately though...do I only allow myself to be open to this one person, or do I put myself out there for more? I don't know that answer.

Is it better to throw yourself into something that could be great and possibly get hurt, or only go halfway and never know what could've been?

And to leave you with a quote...

"And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays"
Williams Shakespeare A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act III, Scene I

Did you?

I don't care what your politics are...if you didn't vote today you have no right to complain about or critisize who are next President is. Polls close in about an hour here in Phoenix...go vote!

Honestly no matter who wins this is a historical election...we will either elect the first African-American president, or the oldest first term President and first female Vice-President. With all of the bad things going on in the world right now, I am so proud to say I am alive to see and participate in this election. Absolutely incredible.

Like the new layout?

From Hope and Steve's Halloween Party...

Favorites

As some (or none) of you may know, I tend to "favorite" things alot. The phrase "She's/He's/It's my favorite!" comes out of my mouth quite often. Still, me bestowing a "favorite" title on someone is quite an honor if I do say so myself.

I'd just like to let you all know that today I named Andrew as my favorite cousin. Why you ask? He referenced Twilight twice in one day (in comments to me on Myspace). He knew from my status about sparkly vampires that I was of course talking about my fictional vampire boyfriend, Edward. Awesome.

Although Amy is in close second after her amazing post today about lessons learned from scary movies. Made me laugh quite a bit.

Sorry to all my other cousins. Do something awesome, and you too will be my favorite.

I realize I have been a little down and out lately. I want to assure everyone I really am okay. I haven't been quite my optimistic, happy self...but I'm okay.

I can't say why right now either. Fact is that I have alot of tough decisions to make in the next couple months (or weeks or days), and it's one of those things that no matter what road I take someone will be dissapointed. I am trying to balance what is right for me and what is right for everyone else and it's not easy. So I'm sorry if I've been a downer lately.

I honestly wish that I could write about what is going on, but I can't right now. It would stir up unneccessary drama. When I can I will.

Let me ask you all this...if you had a chance to change something in your life, for the better, would you do it, even if it meant probably hurting some people you love? How do you balanace your own needs and wants with everyone else's?

Oh and I will post a few pics from Mexico...there's some really cute ones of the kids. :)

Can someone convince that everything really does happen for a reason?

I usually believe that, but at this moment I'm really not too sure.

Anyways, on a happier note, I had a great time in Mexico this past weekend. But what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico, so no pictures I can post :)

Episode III: Have you ever...?

That's a great old song by Brandy. Late 90s I think. Not high quality music, but good none the less.

Ever seen the movie "The Holiday"? Probably my favorite chick flick of all time. Kate Winslet's intro is fabulous.

Ever watch "Sex and the City"? Carrie and Mr.Big's relationship is the best and worst of relationships all at once.

Ever think that if you wish for something hard enough it will come true?

I wish I knew how to walk away.

"Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you..."

The Adventures of a Single 21 Year-old

Episode II: Does age really matter?

I seem to be attracting old guys. Old creepy guy with a serious cat fetish. Old married guy...just ew. Old guy who is awesome and funny and educated and has a ten-year old daughter...he wants a mom for his kid. crap.

Is there something about me that attracts old guys? I definitely don't give off a vulnerable, please-take-care-of-me vibe. Probably exactly the opposite actually. I don't think I look older than I am (although people keep telling me I look 25...odd...).

I don't think age really matters. Not the number itself. It's more the fact that older guys tend to be on the marriage/family track and I'm...not on that track. And I tell these guys that and they don't believe me!!! Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth???

(On a side note...does anyone else think it's creepy when a guy wants you to talk to his cat over the phone? Yes...this actually happened to me. More than once!)

This is a good song. "Without You" by Hinder
"Without you, I live it up a little more everyday. Without you, I’m seein myself so differently. I didn’t wanna believe it then, But it all worked out in the end. When I watched you walk away Well I never thought id say I’m fine... Without you"

maybe someday I'll get to the point of being fine without you

hall-o-weenie

Need costume ideas...here's what I have so far...

1. A vampire...the Twilight version of course. But it's hard "dress up" like that. Find some yellow or black contacts, white powder to make myself pale, some light purple coloring under my eyes so i look "thirsty" and...nothing else. Normal clothes. No fangs. Kinda boring... D-any ideas for this???
2. Can Can dancer...always wanted to be one. It'd be a generic costume because i don't have time to make a cool one
3. A pirate wench...which i was last year. it's such a cool costume though, and this year I'll be going out in it! No time, no money...done.
4. Something sports themed...maybe a referee...or something. Due to my lack of sports knowledge, I've never done this before.

Think people! Less than 3 weeks until Halloween!

Love

I think I'm going to change the name of my blog to "The Life and Times of a Single 21-year Old" or "Sex and the (slightly smaller) City". Blog about life as a single woman, since it seems to me that we are few and far between these days. I do some crazy things and get put in some weird situations in my escapades. So I'm thinking that I'll blog about some likes, dislikes and general adventures...maybe you all will get a giggle out of it.

Tonight my topic will be about...an annoyance. Here's the thing. I'm pretty confident when it comes to the dating scene. I'm a (huge) flirt, I'm comfortable around guys, and I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I know I'm not a supermodel, but I also know I'm not an ogre.

I gave my number to 2 guys this past weekend. Both nice, normal guys. When guys ask for my number, I never actually expect them to call. Some do, some don't...most of the time I forget I even gave my number to anyone. So to my surprise...BOTH of these guys called (ok-they texted,but I've accepted that as the norm). Within 2 days. Wow. After talking for a bit, here's what I get from both of them

Guy:"We should hang out sometime" (ok....could you bit a more vague???)
Me: "Sure, maybe we could get dinner or something this week" (vague as well, but I do this in hope they will make a plan or already have something in mind)
Guy: "Sounds great just let me know like when you're free and stuff and whatever and blah"

Why even say we should "hang out" if you aren't going to be specific? Is it really that hard to say "How about we go to dinner on Wednesday?" or something similar? If I'm not free that night, I'll suggest a different day! So now it's up to me, to pick a day and plan a FIRST date, which I'm sorry should be the guys duty as the one who chose to contact me. Don't call/text me and then be all vague about hanging out.

Could I be the one who says "Let's hang out on Wednesday night"...yes. BUT the guy should be more proactive about asking. As much as I am for equal rights and all that feminist crap, some things are just common courtesy. And it's the same thing with every guy I've dated in the past year.

So here's something that goes on my "Pro" list. Guys who MAKE THE EFFORT. MAke the effort to call and plan a first date. Make the effort to let a girl know you're interested instead of playing games. I will do the same in return, but I'm not going to do it one sided.

So there's my single-gal rant. Keep in mind with these posts that I actually love being single. No desire to change it. My hope is that some random guy will run across this and say "Ah ha! That's the reason I'm single...because I don't make the effort!"

That's how a blog can change the world!!! hahahaha

End of rant. Peace.