I realize I have been a little down and out lately. I want to assure everyone I really am okay. I haven't been quite my optimistic, happy self...but I'm okay.

I can't say why right now either. Fact is that I have alot of tough decisions to make in the next couple months (or weeks or days), and it's one of those things that no matter what road I take someone will be dissapointed. I am trying to balance what is right for me and what is right for everyone else and it's not easy. So I'm sorry if I've been a downer lately.

I honestly wish that I could write about what is going on, but I can't right now. It would stir up unneccessary drama. When I can I will.

Let me ask you all this...if you had a chance to change something in your life, for the better, would you do it, even if it meant probably hurting some people you love? How do you balanace your own needs and wants with everyone else's?

Oh and I will post a few pics from Mexico...there's some really cute ones of the kids. :)

Can someone convince that everything really does happen for a reason?

I usually believe that, but at this moment I'm really not too sure.

Anyways, on a happier note, I had a great time in Mexico this past weekend. But what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico, so no pictures I can post :)

Episode III: Have you ever...?

That's a great old song by Brandy. Late 90s I think. Not high quality music, but good none the less.

Ever seen the movie "The Holiday"? Probably my favorite chick flick of all time. Kate Winslet's intro is fabulous.

Ever watch "Sex and the City"? Carrie and Mr.Big's relationship is the best and worst of relationships all at once.

Ever think that if you wish for something hard enough it will come true?

I wish I knew how to walk away.

"Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you..."

The Adventures of a Single 21 Year-old

Episode II: Does age really matter?

I seem to be attracting old guys. Old creepy guy with a serious cat fetish. Old married guy...just ew. Old guy who is awesome and funny and educated and has a ten-year old daughter...he wants a mom for his kid. crap.

Is there something about me that attracts old guys? I definitely don't give off a vulnerable, please-take-care-of-me vibe. Probably exactly the opposite actually. I don't think I look older than I am (although people keep telling me I look 25...odd...).

I don't think age really matters. Not the number itself. It's more the fact that older guys tend to be on the marriage/family track and I'm...not on that track. And I tell these guys that and they don't believe me!!! Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth???

(On a side note...does anyone else think it's creepy when a guy wants you to talk to his cat over the phone? Yes...this actually happened to me. More than once!)

This is a good song. "Without You" by Hinder
"Without you, I live it up a little more everyday. Without you, I’m seein myself so differently. I didn’t wanna believe it then, But it all worked out in the end. When I watched you walk away Well I never thought id say I’m fine... Without you"

maybe someday I'll get to the point of being fine without you

hall-o-weenie

Need costume ideas...here's what I have so far...

1. A vampire...the Twilight version of course. But it's hard "dress up" like that. Find some yellow or black contacts, white powder to make myself pale, some light purple coloring under my eyes so i look "thirsty" and...nothing else. Normal clothes. No fangs. Kinda boring... D-any ideas for this???
2. Can Can dancer...always wanted to be one. It'd be a generic costume because i don't have time to make a cool one
3. A pirate wench...which i was last year. it's such a cool costume though, and this year I'll be going out in it! No time, no money...done.
4. Something sports themed...maybe a referee...or something. Due to my lack of sports knowledge, I've never done this before.

Think people! Less than 3 weeks until Halloween!

Love

I think I'm going to change the name of my blog to "The Life and Times of a Single 21-year Old" or "Sex and the (slightly smaller) City". Blog about life as a single woman, since it seems to me that we are few and far between these days. I do some crazy things and get put in some weird situations in my escapades. So I'm thinking that I'll blog about some likes, dislikes and general adventures...maybe you all will get a giggle out of it.

Tonight my topic will be about...an annoyance. Here's the thing. I'm pretty confident when it comes to the dating scene. I'm a (huge) flirt, I'm comfortable around guys, and I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I know I'm not a supermodel, but I also know I'm not an ogre.

I gave my number to 2 guys this past weekend. Both nice, normal guys. When guys ask for my number, I never actually expect them to call. Some do, some don't...most of the time I forget I even gave my number to anyone. So to my surprise...BOTH of these guys called (ok-they texted,but I've accepted that as the norm). Within 2 days. Wow. After talking for a bit, here's what I get from both of them

Guy:"We should hang out sometime" (ok....could you bit a more vague???)
Me: "Sure, maybe we could get dinner or something this week" (vague as well, but I do this in hope they will make a plan or already have something in mind)
Guy: "Sounds great just let me know like when you're free and stuff and whatever and blah"

Why even say we should "hang out" if you aren't going to be specific? Is it really that hard to say "How about we go to dinner on Wednesday?" or something similar? If I'm not free that night, I'll suggest a different day! So now it's up to me, to pick a day and plan a FIRST date, which I'm sorry should be the guys duty as the one who chose to contact me. Don't call/text me and then be all vague about hanging out.

Could I be the one who says "Let's hang out on Wednesday night"...yes. BUT the guy should be more proactive about asking. As much as I am for equal rights and all that feminist crap, some things are just common courtesy. And it's the same thing with every guy I've dated in the past year.

So here's something that goes on my "Pro" list. Guys who MAKE THE EFFORT. MAke the effort to call and plan a first date. Make the effort to let a girl know you're interested instead of playing games. I will do the same in return, but I'm not going to do it one sided.

So there's my single-gal rant. Keep in mind with these posts that I actually love being single. No desire to change it. My hope is that some random guy will run across this and say "Ah ha! That's the reason I'm single...because I don't make the effort!"

That's how a blog can change the world!!! hahahaha

End of rant. Peace.

I drove up to Williams today for work...had to drop of a proposal. I volunteered to do this and everyone thinks I'm crazy for doing that much driving in one day. But look at it from my perspective...I got almost an entire day off work paid (but not taking away from my allotted PTO), I got to enjoy a leisurely drive up north and enjoy the cool(er) weather for a little while, and I get reimbursed for gas. Basically I got paid to get out of Phoenix for a day. Nice huh?

I get to Williams at about 10:45...walk up to the Library/City Hall (haha) to drop off this proposal and there is a sign on the door that reads "Tuesday, September 30th, is City of Williams employee appreciation day! Library/City Hall will be closed from 10am-1pm today".

Crap...what do I do for more than 2 hours in Williams. Granted it is a cute little town, but it's about 5 blocks long and the biggest attraction there is the Grand Canyon Railway. So I drove back to Flag (only a 20 min or so drive) and visited my old school. I haven't been back to NAU since I transferred in 2006, and so much has changed. It seemed as thought half the campus was under construction while I was there, and it seems as though it is all finished. Even though the school itself wasn't for me, the campus is gorgeous. A great mix of old architecture and new, modern buildings. And lots of trees. And it's surrounded by cemeteries on 3 sides...doesn't get much better than that! Plus it was not even 70 degrees when I was there, which is lovely.

Sad to say I didn't have my camera, otherwise I would've taken some pictures.

Get lunch, drive back to Williams, where I am informed at City Hall that there is no City Clerk's "Office", just a lady behind a counter who is the "clerk". Love small towns. Amy-there are some great vintage signs there for your project too. Once again...no camera. Dang.

Left for Phoenix around 115p. Get back to work about 345 and decide that I should've just gone home. I was going to just leave, then I started talking to my marketing manager about some upcoming projects, and I ended up staying until 545 (45 minutes past when I normally work).

Now I'm home and tired. Going to read. Maybe watch the not-so-great new version of 90210. Good stuff.

I will leave you with a line from a song that reminds me of someone I know...

"The broken locks were a warning, you got inside my head; I tried my best to be guarded, I was an open book instead"

The Toose 2008

Went to Tucson this past weekend for my friends' birthdays...

DV Girls Reunion

Me and the birthday boys (Brant with glasses, Jon without)
I am lucky enough to be this AMAZING couple's Maid of Honor in their wedding next June :)
the host and hostess, Brant and Heather

So happy I got to be there for Jon and Brant's surprise party, and I got to see so many of my friends from high school. Hopefully I'll get to go once more before the semester is over....

I want to go to Forks, WA for my birthday. Anyone want to come? And possibly pay? :)

"Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob? His name is 'Shut the Hell up'"

haha good stuff. From Eclipse...can't find the page number though. One of these days I'll move on from the Twilight series, but for now I'm happy immersing my self in the world of a seventeen year old girl and her sparkly vampire boyfriend. Lovely.

In case I haven't mentioned it, I love my job. This is my last week at the front desk (I think..last I heard...this changes regularly though due to the previous receptionist's flakiness) then I'll be in my lovely cubicle. I'll take pics. I'm like...an adult. When did that happen?

Random

"Even more I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew--knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest--was how love gave someone the power to break you. I'd been broken beyond repair." New Moon by Stephenie Meyer pg 219

And a link

Twilight Trailer

you know what i love?

when it's raining and sunny all at the same time. I took a picture of what it looked like when that happened today, but it's on my phone...i don't know how to get pictures off of it.

I think i'm going to start posting random things. Kevin does it alot. Videos, quotes from books, etc. I love it when i come across things like this, but have nothing to do with them. So i guess they'll go here.

nothing today though...on my way out to dinner with one of my best friends. :)

Peace Out.

I keep getting yelled at for not posting...I just never feel like writing much after I get home from work. Plus, my life is boring right now...not really anything exciting to write about and I don't want to bore everyone to tears.

I still love my job, I can't wait until they find someone to fill the front desk position so I can start doing marketing full time. Doing both is getting to be overwhelming, and I feel like I'm neglecting some of the everyday office stuff. But soon enough we will start interviewing and someone else gets to do all that!

I'm still moving out...next month I think. Going to go look at apartments next weekend...

And that's it. That's life. See why I never write?

Here's some funny pictures to fill the nothingness that are my postings....

Excuse me while I brag...

...which I don't normally do.

BUT I had lunch with the president of RPA yesterday and he offered me a permanent position with the company. I don't know what my "title" is yet...since the position is kind of being created for me. Something along the lines of "marketing specialist" or "marketing coordinator" or "queen of the world" (jk...).

Anyways, I'm jazzed. Stoked. Tickled. All those great things. RPA really is such a fantastic company. Someday I'll devote a whole blog to how much I admire my boss...I know I sound like a suck-up, but he really is an amazing person.

So that's my life...new job, moving out in 6-ish weeks, trying out a new relationship...all good things. I'm a pretty lucky girl :)

Would you like me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away

Here's some pics from the midnight release party I went to Friday night for Stephenie Meyer's newest (and last...) book in the Twilight series, "Breaking Dawn". It was really good. Unfortunately probably my least favorite of the four because she changed the way she wrote in the last book, but still an excellent book and well worth staying up all night Friday and most of the day Saturday to read all 750 pages. Danielle and her sister Ashley stayed at my house Friday night and all day Saturday so we could read it together. It was technically a sleepover, although it involved almost no sleep and we were all either in seperate rooms or sitting on the couch reading in silence. Great fun :)

Dinner at TGIF before the party

Our "Edward" fake tattoos

Doing some Twilight trivia

Funny bathroom mirror pics

My bite marks

I love these books!

With about 5 minutes to go until midnight....so excited!

Waiting in line...

The next day around lunchtime...took a break to eat and take a pic!

Oh and check out my pretty new profile pic! it's look weird when it's small, but I actually really like the picture. I took it while I was messing around with my webcam on my laptop, then fiddled with it using the Picasa software that you can download from Google. Scha-weet.

So apparently I'm not gonna have as much time to post as I thought...

I already started my "training" under the market manager on, oh...my third day here. I got to go to a marketing meeting last week and actually got assigned some projects to work on before the next meeting (which is tomorrow). Being the incredibly hard worker I am (haha) I finished them all this morning, and am taking a break before I start back up on this ongoing (but no due date) project I'm working on with the marketing manager. So basically I am being kept busy between the marketing stuff, plus all the "normal" receptionist stuff I have to do as well. I still love it and everyone here is great. Not one person I even remotely don't like. yay!

Some other ramblings....

Countdown to move out date (sorry, mom, nothing personal. I'm just excited): I have no idea. Hopefully by October 1st? There's these great apartments I found that are fairly cheap and living there would take about 10-15 minutes off of my drive time to work. Nice! They're right next to the Pointe Hilton at 7th st and Peoria-ish.

I am NOT a morning person! I don't like getting up at 6am. I am usually so tired that I pass out by 10pm. I think if I keep working here I am going to change my hours to 8:30-5:30, instead of 8-5. Give me another 30min of sleep in the mornings. I'm very rarely tired at work, it's just getting out of bed that early that's hard.

Stephenie Meyer's new book, Breaking Dawn, comes out in 9 days. I'm going to the midnight release party with Danielle and her sister, Ashley, who are just as obsessed with these books as I am. Cannot wait! It's going to be a blast...I will definitely take pictures.

Still haven't seen The Dark Knight :(

My sister and I are having a yard sale this weekend for my dad at his house (43rd ave and paradise ln), so everyone should stop by and buy our crap haha. There's actually alot of books, and some kitchen stuff...and possibly even some furniture if my dad decides what he's selling. So come by on Saturday, between 7:30 and 12:30. Tons o' fun! I love yard sales!

Um...I know, no Europe pics. In my defense, there are more than 200 on both my Myspace and my Facebook. It's a pain to upload pics and I've gotten to the point that I don't like to be on the computer much at home now that I'm on it all day here. Soon enough. Aunt Nancy, we really should just have a family get together sometime soon and I 'll bring my disc of pics to show you...they're much more entertaining with my narrations :)

I wish I had enough money to by a house :( so many people I know are getting houses built and it's makes me jealous. It also makes me feel like a loser because I'm 21 and still at home, but such is life. Maybe I'll be able to afford a house in a couple of years... on the beach... in San Diego.

Nothing else....gotta get back to work. FYI- I am working on creating a list of EVERY SINGLE math and science teacher in the Phoenix Metro area. If for some reason you need the name/number of ANY math or science teacher in the Phoenix Metro area, hit me up. Not just high school either...6th-12th grade. Phew. That's why I'm writing this instead of doing that...it's quite tedious. Thank God for the world wide web :)

So I started my new job yesterday...it's pretty fantastic. I don't do a whole lot (obviously...I'm at work right now...), but I like it.

I actually I don't think I ever even posted about getting a job, did I?! I'm working as the receptionist for Ritoch-Powell & Associates, which is the civil engineering firm my brother-in-law Steve is a partner in. It's a good job for now...I'm actually just filling in for the regular receptionist while she is on maternity leave for 3 months. Full time, 8-5 Mon-Thurs and 8-12 on Fridays. Nice!

I kind of just fell into this job. I hadn't found one since I got back from Europe and Steve mentioned RPA needed someone to fill in. I know the president of the company and some of the other partners through Steve, so they basically just gave me the job. But here's the really cool thing...Karl, the president of RPA, sat me down on my first day and told me that he thinks I have a real future with the company and he wants to have their marketing manager train me to take on alot of the work she does now. SO...when my 3 months here at the front desk is up, he wants to move me into a salaried position under the marketing manager. Sweet, huh? He even told me he would work around my school schedule when I go back to grad school in January.

I'm excited...the job as it is right now is kind of boring, just alot of answering phones and mailing things, etc. But the people who work here (all 30 men and 5 women!!!) are so nice and funny. The guys tease and give eachother (and me) a hard time, but it's really a great group of people to work with.

Be expecting me to post more often since, like I said, there isn't alot to do until the marketing manager starts training me some more. Enjoy the randomness that will be my future postings :)

I can't help feeling like everyone around me is moving forward with their lives, and I'm just stuck in the same place. When did that happen?